The Seattle Aquarium holds a yearly event, on Valentine's Day, where patrons can watch the mating rituals of their octopi. This year, however, what started off as a normal evening of watching bestiality, quickly turned weird.

It was revealed that the female octopus, Raspberry, had mated the day before with a different male octopus, and Pancakes (the male octopus and Seattle Aquarium's pride and joy) had been humiliated by a larger, more stalwart octopus. Now there's only one thing to do: make it official, and rename him after world famous cuck 'David French'. (Full Story here: http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/02/13/2486907...)