Mr Christopher Martin of the income office has now been working at the University of Bristol for over a year. During this time he's invented at least 57 fictitious injuries to avoid playing 5-a-side football ranging from a pulled hamstring to leprocy. As a healthy (ish) football obsessed (well, Villa obsessed) man who works less than 50 metres from a sports centre surely the start of a new year will be the perfect time to finally show everyone the magical football skills that he bangs on about possessing yet have never been seen. As such the footballing world would be eternally grateful to anyone who signs this petition to unleash his footballing talents in 2010...