Status: Closed — this petition is no longer accepting signatures.
Final supporters
A short list of iMURDAu's crimes:
—iMURDAu regularly drinks the blood of babies and kittens in some strange cocktail they believe will make them less horrible
—iMURDAu knows where flight 370 is but refuses to tell
—Every night iMURDAu poisons all the members of TCS and steals their socks
—Every time you stub your toe? iMURDAu's fault.
—Baby seal nipple clamps. No, I'm not going to elaborate, use your imagination with this one.
—Alzheimer's
—Clamshell packaging
—On the night of July 27th iMURDAu drank straight from the carton, threatened the beloved member JT and said, and I quote, "If you tell anyone I will DDOS the site, molest more puppies than usual and make sure that love itself stops existing."
Please do something about it.
This petition is meant to be passed to President Obama, Vladimir Putin, whoever runs Australia (some kind of wizard?) and anyone else who may have the power to put an end to iMURDAu's crimes.
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4 Comments
iMURDAU took the tooth fairy's virginity and refuses to give it back. Her wings dishonorably clipped, the tooth fairy now sits curled in a ball in a corner of her repossessed mansion, rocking back and forth in tears while kids all over the world have teeth decaying impatiently beneath their pillows. True story.
This needs to happen. I didn't know about this until an hour ago, but I am more committed to this than anyone.
THANKS, OBAMA
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Status: Closed — this petition is no longer accepting signatures.
Final supporters
A short list of iMURDAu's crimes:
—iMURDAu regularly drinks the blood of babies and kittens in some strange cocktail they believe will make them less horrible
—iMURDAu knows where flight 370 is but refuses to tell
—Every night iMURDAu poisons all the members of TCS and steals their socks
—Every time you stub your toe? iMURDAu's fault.
—Baby seal nipple clamps. No, I'm not going to elaborate, use your imagination with this one.
—Alzheimer's
—Clamshell packaging
—On the night of July 27th iMURDAu drank straight from the carton, threatened the beloved member JT and said, and I quote, "If you tell anyone I will DDOS the site, molest more puppies than usual and make sure that love itself stops existing."
Please do something about it.
This petition is meant to be passed to President Obama, Vladimir Putin, whoever runs Australia (some kind of wizard?) and anyone else who may have the power to put an end to iMURDAu's crimes.
4 Comments
Is all true. iMURDAu stole a pair of my socks. And these black lacy stockings that I pair with a whip for special occasions.
iMURDAU took the tooth fairy's virginity and refuses to give it back. Her wings dishonorably clipped, the tooth fairy now sits curled in a ball in a corner of her repossessed mansion, rocking back and forth in tears while kids all over the world have teeth decaying impatiently beneath their pillows. True story.
This needs to happen. I didn't know about this until an hour ago, but I am more committed to this than anyone.
THANKS, OBAMA
Share Petition
Don't stop at signing, share the petition link with friends to multiply our impact
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Is all true. iMURDAu stole a pair of my socks. And these black lacy stockings that I pair with a whip for special occasions.