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Bring back Sugar Cookie Eggnog

1,462 Comments

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FATHER
3 years ago Featured

We WERE going to have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. No one told me they left the plate with all the spaghetti on my chair. I sat without looking and burned myself. Spaghetti sauce and meatballs all over my ass. Bastard kids couldn't stop laughing.

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FATHER
3 years ago

We WERE going to have home baked cake for dessert. No one told me the pan was still hot. I picked it up, burned myself, and dropped the cake. Cake and icing everywhere. No more cake ☹️

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FATHER
3 years ago

We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner. When I picked up the boiling pot, I burned myself and dropped the pot. Pot made loud banging sounds as it hit the floor. Potatoes and hot water everywhere!

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FATHER
3 years ago

We WERE going to have a cookout today. Whwn I picked up my tiny grill while the charcoal was still flaming, I burned myself and dropped the grill. Grill made loud banging sounds when it hit the ground. Flaming charcoal and broken grill parts everywhere. Bastard kids couldn't stop laughing.

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JOHN WU
3 years ago

I HATE Z-NATION! They killed off LT MONG!

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Mysterion
3 years ago

I opened up my JAPANESE-MEXICAN restaurant. It's called MIGUEL-SAN.

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LEECOW
3 years ago

How am I supposed to get horny with my wife wearing PERIOD PROOF PANTIES!

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SADISTIC FUCK
3 years ago

When I play Call of duty WW2, I purposely allow the German soldier to stab me. I enjoy hearing my character scream NO as the beyonet cames down on him.

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FATHER
3 years ago

We WERE going to have potatoes for dinner. When I picked up the boiling pot, I burned myself and dropped the pot. The pot made a loud banging sound when it hit the ground. Potatoes and hot water everywhere.

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DOOR AJAR
3 years ago

I love watching the Nazi in Call of duty WWII slowly stab my character. Watching someone being put to a slow death.♥️

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LEECOW
3 years ago

My state is in a draught, they're asking us to conserve water. I told them about I go a MONTH without BATHING.

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KRISTATOS
3 years ago

YOU HAVE DONE THIS! Poisoned her against me! I'll deal with you, Ms. Brink, as I deal with everyone who betrays me!

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Amanda Janiga Williams
3 years ago

My husband asked me about the needles in my first two left hand fingers. I told him they're called assimilation tubules, they're a Borg implant. I was a drone. I used them on my victims I overpowered.

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BAD ASS
3 years ago

My boss didn't give me that raise. When he was at his mailbox, I drove really fast on my motorcycle and then I hit him on the head with a baseball bat. My new home is this prison cell. Very sad.

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BIG MIKE
3 years ago

I like to shave a lot. My wife says I should shave my BALLS more often.

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EL RATTA
3 years ago

I call myself EL RATTA. I inform the police every time my friends and neighbors break the law.

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Ethan Paiva
3 years ago

Please

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Arnold
3 years ago

When I went gun shopping, I asked the clerk if he had a PHASED PLASMA RIFLE in a 40 WATT range. He said, hey, just what you see, pal.

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HOWARD HAMLIN
3 years ago

Someone threw bowling balls over my wall! Someone could of been seriously hurt! My car was more or less destroyed ☹️

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HOWARD HAMLIN
3 years ago

Someone threw bowling balls over my wall! Someone could of been seriously hurt! My car was more or less destroyed ☹️