Bring Back Frank Fritz

My boss has a bathtub in his office. Bastard was taking a bubble bath when he fired me!!

I asked this guy if he was Ruussian Mafia, he sliced his throat with glass. I'm gonna throw up!

I asked this guy if he was Russian Mafia, he sliced this throat with glass. I'm gonna throw up!

My son is retarded, he's in a wheelchair or something.

This isn't chocolate pudding in my underwear!

I studied for my test! I gave my teacher my leopard thong and I got an A on my test!

I visited my old home in Indianapolis and I told the owner to arrange the furniture the way I had it! She couldn't believe it!

I didn't want HER son here. He got high 14times in a row, nobody would take him in!

The two lady cops that were here, we done talking about stuff. I came up to my apartment to be by myself and read the bible. Then all of a sudden HER, HER SON, HER SON GIRLFRIEND, they all came up here and tried to jump on me!

I got DUPED. I have to find the guy who DUPED me cause I'm the DOPE that got DUPED. What?!!

Even when my wife does to work, she wears tight pants that go up her butt crack! HARLET!

General Arkardy Ourmov, head of space division.

My wife says I've been in a bad mood ever since Fidel Castro died. Is she calling me a PINKO?!!

I had to leave high school, I turned 40.

I didn't know which flag was the AMERICAN flag! My kids won't even look at me!

Teacher asked me to spell WOMAN. I said C-U-N-T!

My wife overdrew our bank account again! I asked her, do you think this is a game were playing?

My wife gets mad at me. When I'm half way through cooking scrambled eggs, I say, SCREW IT, IT AIN'T WORTH IT, and i dump the eggs down the sink.

My wife killed her last husband by choking him with her THIGHS!

I like to sing in the shower. I use my PENIS as a microphone. I really jerk that thing when I get into it!