Bring Back Frank Fritz

Aunt Debbie finally got up off my FOURTH new yellow baby bl*nkey from Amazon. I didn't even get to snuggle with my new bl*nkey and Aunt Debbie already used bl*nkey as a cushion while at her work computer. Bl*nkey is flat and smells like her lotion butt smell. It replaced the new smell. All FOUR of my baby bl*nkies met the same fate, kissing Aunt Debbie's ass as a cushion. Now Aunt Debbie has four bl*nkies to choose from to use as a cushion.

My beloved KATIE SEARFOSS was assimilated by a body drone! I found her unconscious on the ground with puncture wounds on the neck where the drone injected nanoprobes into her. She's turning pale!

My wife and I took a tour of the firehouse down the street. She thought the firefighters pole was a STRIPPER POLE! She did a performance on it, upside down with her legs spread! It was a disgrace!

My boss came over for dinner. He noticed my wife's strippers pole in the living room. She then did a performance on the pole, it was a disgrace. My boss didn't promote me. Why did I marry a WH0RE?!

I like to sing in the shower. I use my PENIS as a microphone. I really jerk that thing around while singing!

When Hank cheated on me with that transgender creater, I flushed my rings down the toilet, I threw our wedding photos in the pool, I crapped on his wedding suit---uh

Wanna hear what my wife gave me for Christmas? An appointment for a PENILE IMPLANT surgery! Ouch, my pride!

My husband has terrible aim. You should see our TOILET SEAT!

SINGING: The rules that CONSTRAIN other men--mean nothing to MCBAIN!!!!! (Music continues) The fascists causing PAIN--two other men--

I went out on a date with this hot blonde and I came home with a souvenir --HER PANTY!

I love sitting on my nephew Seymour's baby bl*nkey after being washed. It's tall, fluffy and I wiggle around on his bl*nkey. I could sit at my computer all day with his baby bl*nkey under my butt as a cushion!

I have three yellow baby bl*nkies. Aunt Debbie likes to sit on a different one everyday as a cushion while working at home on her computer. I washed my FIRST bl*nkey. Aunt Debbie captured bl*nkey and sat on him. The fabric softener smell was replaced by her sexy lotion butt smell!

My bastard kids are F**KERS! They didn't appreciate their Christmas gifts, so I tore the tree down already and threw it in the RUBBISH BIN! NO MORE CHRISTMAS!

My bastard kids are F**KERS. Instead of buying me a Christmas present, they just wrapped up some old underwear of mine. MERRY F**CKIN' CHRISTMAS!

My bastard kids are F**KERS! I bought them a lot of crap for Christmas, and still they stole everything from my wallet! NO MORE CHRISTMAS!

A gremlin was hiding in my Christmas tree. When it jumped out, the tree came crashing down on me!

When I told my bastard children they had to wait for Christmas for their presents. The little F**CKERS hit me on the head and stole the presents! NO MORE CHRISTMAS!

I bought my wife a playstation 5 for Christmas. She bought me a single thing of GUM! MERRY F**CKIN' CHRISTMAS!

My neighbor gave me a FRUITCAKE with an ASS PRINT on it for my Christmas present!

I tried and tried to set up my playstation 5 and failed. So I hit the damn thing with a sledgehammer! Sparks came out and the damn thing won't even turn on! What the heck is wrong with this thing?!