Today is a sad day for The U.

Today, we lost 58-0.

For those of you who don’t know who I am, allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Gumby.

I was born green and without bones. It was tough growing up being so different, but The U has given me a new hope for humanity and Gumbys everywhere.

The U has everything I was looking for. It is full of interesting, intelligent, attractive looking people from all over the world. On top of all that, the weather is beautiful, and there is so much to do in the city of Miami.

During my time here, I have witnessed greatness in UM and Miami sports. I watched our football team climb to #7. I stormed the court when we upset #1 Duke. I was also a die-hard Heat fan for 20 minutes (before and after both championships.)

It is apparent to me that we have many talented, motivated student athletes (football, basketball, etc.) However, it is time for a new coach.

To Mr. Golden – you have two options:

1. Step down gracefully

2. Continue to coach with no student attendance at each game

Enough is enough. It is time to make a change.

We have two remaining home games against University of Virginia and Georgia Tech.

Boycott the games until Golden is no longer coach.

First game with a new head coach – SELL OUT SUN LIFE.

It’s about time we made national headlines again.

I also think that we should cancel class on Monday to mourn our loss, because, let’s be honest, most of us won’t wake up until late afternoon Sunday, and Halloween Monday is right around the corner.

Sign this petition and share it.

Let’s restore our football program to what it once was.

#1.