We, the people of NorCal, SoCal, WestCal, EastCal and all the free people hereby officially demand equality for men and women under the law.

We hold it to be evident that if the law considers a woman's breasts being exposed to be indecent, so should the law consider a man's breasts. We demand that the State of California, having been ahead of the curve on so many social issues, lead the way as well and be the first state to make both genders equal under the law.

We believe that all boobs, regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, creed, religion or size of nipple are to be considered private parts and therefore to be covered properly by articles of clothing when in public.

Also, we'd like to ban sagging breeches, on account of being a dang eyesore and downright stupid, but we're willing to compromise on that, provided that the gender discrimination regarding man-boobs is corrected.

Also, we want more classic cartoons on TV.