To Ban The Usage Of The Chemical Dihydrogen Monoxide

Petition to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration

We, the undersigned, Community of The Madeira School

Draw the attention of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration

To the following, whereas:

· Causing death due accidental inhalation of Dihydrogen Monoxide

· Causing severe burns caused by gaseous Dihydrogen Monoxide

· Causing severe tissue damages due to a prolonged exposure to solid Dihydrogen Monoxide

· Causing short-circuits due to the contamination of electrical system

· Contributing to soil erosion

· Contributing to maintain chemical balance in community swimming pools

· Contributing in various forms of torture historically in prison and death camps

· Decreasing the effectiveness of the automobile brakes due to exposure

· Serving as the major component of acid rain

· Serving as a component if biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions

· Serving as the major ingredient in home-brewed bombs

Therefore, your petitioners call upon the U.S Food and Drug Administration

To ban the usage of the chemical Dihydrogen Monoxide,

From the following places, whereas:

· Animal Research laboratories

· Bathroom Products

· Beer and Coffee

· Cough Medicines and all other liquid pharmaceuticals

· Community swimming pools

· Day care centers and schools

· Food Products

· Pesticide production

· Spray-on fire suppressant and retardant