Whereas we have received NUMEROUS complaints (two, so far) and whereas the quality of LIFE is being severly impacted, we hereby initiate this petition to accomplish one of three things:

1. Replace Ashley's keyboard with a keyboard made of rubber.

2. Require Ashley to cover her fingertips with liquid rubber.

3. Electrify Ashley's keyboard to keep her from contributing to the ongoing noise polution issue.

Ashley already has issues with noise control. Allowing her to type willy-nilly using a keyboard that promote noise pollution could lead to premature armageddon.