Luca, I strongly believe that you should get a Ph.D. And no, this is not because I think you need more education. In fact, I think you’ve probably had enough education already. The real reason is much more important: a Ph.D. means more years of college, and therefore more opportunities to continue being a professional student.

Think about it. Most people eventually graduate college, get a job, and have to enter the terrifying world of adulthood. They wake up early, go to work, pay bills, answer emails, and pretend to understand what their boss is talking about. But you? You could avoid all of that for several more glorious years by simply saying, “I’m getting my Ph.D.”

A Ph.D. is basically the ultimate college expansion pack.

You already went through the basic levels: school, college, and probably countless assignments that made you question every decision that led you there. But why stop now? You’ve come this far. You might as well keep going until people start introducing you as Dr. Luca.

Imagine the possibilities.

Someone could ask, “What do you do?”

And instead of giving a boring answer like “I work,” you could dramatically respond:

“I’m a doctor.”

Then they might panic and ask, “Oh my gosh, are you a medical doctor?”

And you can calmly say:

“No. I have a Ph.D.”

That level of unnecessary confidence alone is worth the extra years.

Getting a Ph.D. also gives you an incredible excuse for everything. If you’re tired? You’re doing research. If you’re busy? You have a dissertation. If you don’t want to go somewhere? Sorry, academic responsibilities. If someone asks why you haven’t finished something? You can say, “I’m working on my thesis,” and suddenly everyone respects you.

And the best part is that a Ph.D. takes longer.

Why graduate when you can postpone graduation with purpose?

A bachelor’s degree says, “I completed college.”

A master’s degree says, “I wanted to learn more.”

A Ph.D. says, “Apparently, I have decided that college is now my permanent residence.”

You could become so familiar with the campus that people would start assuming you work there. Freshmen would walk past you and think, “Wow, that person looks like they’ve been here since the invention of Wi-Fi.”

Eventually, professors might not even know whether you’re a student or part of the faculty. You could just show up to class and everyone would accept it.

Another major benefit is that you’ll have a completely legitimate reason to spend years obsessing over something extremely specific.

You could research something incredibly important, such as:

• Why people say “I’ll do it later” and then never do it.
• The psychological effects of procrastinating until 11:59 PM.
• Why group projects somehow become one person doing everything.
• The relationship between sleep deprivation and questionable life decisions.
• Why college students can survive on snacks, caffeine, and pure determination.
• Or, most importantly, why Luca should keep going to college for as long as humanly possible.

Your dissertation could literally be about why you should get a Ph.D., which would create a beautiful academic loop.

You’d spend years researching why you should spend years researching.

That is efficiency.

And let's not forget the title.

Dr. Luca.

That sounds powerful.

You could put it on your email signature. You could put it on documents. You could introduce yourself that way. You could walk into a room and say, “Hello, I’m Dr. Luca,” even if the only thing you have successfully diagnosed that day is that you’re hungry.

People would immediately assume you’re extremely intelligent.

You could also use the title to intimidate people who annoy you.

Someone: “Luca, why are you late?”

You: “Sorry, I’m a doctor.”

Someone: “That doesn’t explain anything.”

You: “I have a Ph.D.”

And suddenly they don't know what to say.

Most importantly, getting a Ph.D. would give you the opportunity to accomplish something incredibly difficult. It would take dedication, patience, persistence, and a ridiculous amount of work. You’d have to spend years studying, researching, writing, revising, defending your work, and probably wondering at least once whether you’ve made a terrible mistake.

But then, at the end of it all, you’d have something that nobody could take away from you: the knowledge that you stuck with something incredibly challenging and finished it.

So yes, Luca, you should get a Ph.D.

Not because you need more school.

Not because you need another degree.

Not because the world desperately needs another person who knows an unreasonable amount about one extremely specific subject.

You should get one because you've already spent so much time in college that leaving now would be suspicious.

You might as well commit.

Go all the way.

Get the bachelor's.

Get the master's.

Get the Ph.D.

Become Dr. Luca.

Stay in college so long that when someone asks when you’re graduating, you just stare into the distance and whisper:

“I don’t know anymore. I live here now.”

Years from now, everyone else will be working regular jobs while you’ll be sitting in a university office surrounded by books, papers, coffee cups, and a dissertation that has somehow become longer than some novels.

And you’ll look back and realize:

It was all worth it.

Because you didn't just go to college.

You made college your entire personality.

So Luca, I ask you to do the right thing.

Get the Ph.D.

For the knowledge.

For the achievement.

For the title.

For the prestige.

But most importantly…

FOR THE EXTRA YEARS OF COLLEGE.