Free the Yuan NOW!

The petition

China is many things, however, it isn't stupid as the provocative name of our web site would lead one to believe. It is in fact a beautiful country with a wildly clever, resourceful populace and perhaps the richest history on Earth. I applaud their amazing rise as a global economic powerhouse and feel it is long overdue. My heart aches with the knowledge of the unspeakable hardships her noble citizens came to endure over the course of the last century at the hands of many imperial powers who not only attacked her but sowed violent dissension among a historically harmonious people. Amongst such a backdrop one could find it unsuitable, nay, dishonorable to take issue with her decisions, yet that is precisely where I find myself today. After much consternation I have decided that I can no longer remain silent. While there are many points of contention between the Middle Kingdom and the West this petition will have the singular purpose of convincing the Chinese government to free their currency thus allowing it to float in the open market. We believe the dissolution of market hinderances will lead to growth for all economies and this belief was the driving force in the establishment of our organization, "People for Balance & Justice". Starting April 1st we will be crushing one bicycle a week until Beijing heeds our call for change or sends a diplomatic mission to our headquarters to explain why this archaic economic practice should be continued when they should be leading by example given their new found status. We have decided on the destruction of a bicycle as our form of protest for four reasons, first being that bicycles are made in China. Second, bicycles are the favorite mode of transport for ordinary Chinese and we want our message to resonate in the noodle houses. Thirdly, it has a raw shock value that letter writing lacks. Lastly, it is a tribute to President Reagan who once smashed a Toshiba Copier. I ask you to sign this petition and join with the PB&J in our call for positive change.

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