We, the people that make up Jaclyn's friends and co-workers, do declare that it should be unlawful, immoral, and downright silly for her to ever take another 5-Hour Energy drink during work hours ever again. She is a fast-talking, high-falutin', rootin' tootin' son of a gun. She eats up all the chicken, she thinks she's the best dancer, and she stinks. Our lives would all be better if she'd stop these shenanigans. We hereby sign this petition to stop her from being a hyper freakshow of immense proportions, and also to ask her to please stop talking about Lost so much. Seriously, it's over. Let it go. Jack's dead now. Dead. He died. The dog was by his side, as he expired and will never, EVER breathe again. He's dead. Anyway, yeah. No more 5-Hour Energy drinks.