The following contract shall define the responsibilities and privileges regarding the relationship between the Ottawa Senators, herein referred to as Sens, and their undersigned partisans, herein collectively referred to as "SensFan". Definitions: The following acronyms will be used throughout this document: AMAPFP = as much as personal finances permit... and then some. AGSBP = Away games hosted at ScotiaBank Place (Leafs/Habs) #1. SensFan shall agree to attend home games religiously AMAPFP. In the execution of this responsibility, SensFan will proudly wear overpriced Sens paraphernalia, voraciously consume expensive beer and comestibles. SensFan shall not revolt at the exorbitant ticket prices (AMAPFP). - (a) SensFan shall risk life and limb willingly and without fear during all AGSBP. Also, on such occasions SensFan will outcheer and outboo the enemy. - (b) SensFan promises to one day overcome this Axis of Idiocy and eradicate the AGSBP altogether (AMAPFP). #2. When Sens are away, SensFan promises to set aside time to observe all road games still sporting paraphernalia AMAPFP. #3. When SensFan is travelling within NorthAmerica, SensFan will seek out opportunities to attend road games AMAPFP and adhere to the same policies as laid out in #1 above. The foregoing commitments on the part of SensFan are significant sacrifices granted on the following conditions: A. To enable SensFan in adhering to responsibility #2 Sens will ensure all games are broadcast no matter what the Blue dorks are doing or when they are playing. B. Sens must continue to do everything possible to kick ass. Skate like the red devils they are, dig in the corners, never give up. Clauses: Daniel Alfredsson shall at no time be traded. This clause is permanent and irrevocable. Failure to comply shall result in the immediate revocation of the above contract, the risk of riot, and the abandonment of the franchise (for the foreseeable future). x - SensFan Signed at Ottawa this twenty fourth day of February two thousand and thirteen. Please keep Alfie in Ottawa. Captain, my captain. Ahem...