The world is increasingly at odds and we need a person who can work on both sides of the table. That person is Severus Snape, the ultimate defender against the Dark Arts, and a natural choice to be the United States' Secretary of Defense. An educator and military leader simultaneously, Snape has proven time and again that he is willing to lay his life on the line against great odds, and his loyal friend, J.K. Rowling, stated that he "showed loyalty to that love and, ultimately, laid down his life because of it" in the great Battle of Hogwarts. America needs a defense leader who will make the tough decisions when the time comes and doesn't just pointlessly wave his wand in the air. If you want results, the choice is clear. It's time for the United Snapes of America!