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The Dudley Boyz have officially retired their wrecking ball act and promised to leave our furniture alone. I am truly stunned that we managed this together because none of this would have happened without your refusal to watch another table shatter. Keep a watchful eye on the remaining wood out …

January 6, 2017

Save The Tables

Save The Tables

🏆 Won — 4,969 supporters Verified

Final supporters

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Shorty G.
M
Matty C.
S
Steve S.
S
Skye
S
Someone
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mary j.
S
Someone
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Boris O.
F
f
Y
yee
+4,959 more
ND
Started by New Day 10 years, 11 months ago

Some of life's most memorable moments are spent with a table. Think of the family dinners, board game nights, and the hanky panky you and your significant other enjoy when you have the house to yourself. All enjoyed on or around a table!

We, The New Day, are here to alert you to the rise of a camouflaged menace, a filthy scourge, a lingering and powerful blight that should have been eradicated a decade ago, that threatens to mutilate & poach every table in existence. This plague refers to itself as The Dudley Boyz. These Boyz have been destroying tables, obliterating good wood, and spitting in the face of Mother Nature for years so it is time that we took a stand. Please sign this petition to ensure that our future generations don't have to first learn about tables in history textbooks. Keep tables from going the way of the dodo bird. Keep them from going extinct.

And if this petition gains enough support, we're pretty sure we can get the Dudley Boyz fired or tarred and feathered. Something really humiliating. Only you can prevent table violence.

#SaveTheTables

Updates

September 19, 2015

I truly never imagined that one thousand people would care about protecting our tables from such a splintered fate. This momentum is entirely because of your passion for the furniture we love. I am honestly just floored that so many of you signed on to stop this destruction.

Reached 1,000 supporters

September 16, 2015

Reached 100 supporters

September 16, 2015

3,209 Comments

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Giovanni Colantonio
10 years ago Featured

My first date involved going to a nice restaurant and sitting at a table. I picture today's youth nervously sitting at a table with their first love, and then The Dudleys come in and throw a large stranger through it. Disgusting. Save love, save the tables.

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David Bedard
10 years ago Featured

I come from a logging town and it pains me to see the poor trees we cut down for our meager living are wasted on tables those damn Dudleys will inevitably break. If we must harm the Earth to earn our wages, can we at least make sure said harm is not in vain?

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Anonymous
10 years ago Featured

When I was but a lad I sat in a crowd as the Dudleys wrestled chanting "we want tables" as loud as I could. I look back on that day with a deep sense of shame. Good luck sirs in your attempt at preventing the children of today from making the same mistake.

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Stan Formers
10 years ago Featured

Please save the tables. Tables are on the endangered species list and its only a matter of time before they go extinct. Maybe the Dudley's can use something more environmentally friendly like recycled corrugated cardboard boxes. Devon, get the cardboard!!

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Anonymous
10 years ago Featured

As a carpenter I have profound respect for all forms of craftsmanship and the construction of tables. I am utterly appalled that two husky gentleman take pleasure in destroying what my father and ancestors before me took such pride in crafting.

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Thomas Crook
10 years ago Featured

The Dudley Boyz once attended a summer cook out I was hosting and after having a few tinnies they 3D'd my Nan through my patio table. These lousy SOB's don't just stop at breaking wood. When will this insanity stop? Would somebody please think of the children!

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Matty Cash
3 years ago

I'm the name of Villa, we want to save the tables

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mary johnsonmook
5 years ago

i love new day