Hear me! We sign this petition to go back in time and save Jesus from the cross. This is possible due to petitions being above and beyond the law. Both human law and the laws of mother nature. When this petition reaches 100,000,000,000 signatures the earth will stop its rotation and slowly start spinning the other way. This will cause time to go backwards and we will all die the way we started life, as intended from the start. But not to worry. Earth will regain it's rotation once Jesus is alive and we will all get to live the life we've come to know, again. There is no catch, sign up now!