Upon seeing Rachel Wagner getting her driver's license on February 19, 2010, it is only after a very ominous and serious reconsideration, that we now believe Rachel's license MUST BE REVOKED. A quick look at these newly uncovered tenets will convince you to sign the petition.
If we receive at least 47 signatures, Rita Wagner and James Wagner are bound by parental law and the tax code of Ohio to put her license through a document shredder and force her to attend Wagner College. She will receive a full-ride scholarship and major in Hogwarts--and we're not talking the Harry Potter kind.
Tenet 1: She is the baby of the Wagner family.
Tenet 2: She has behaved like a brat.
Tenet 3: She is a toddler.
Tenet 4: We all know all 16 year olds aren't old enough to drive.
Tenet 5: Bratty toddler babies should not be allowed to drive.
Tenet 6: Rachel drives a car like an choir director drives a pipe organ.
Tenet 7: If Rachel had a dream car, it would be a pink and black station wagon.
Tenet 8: No one with so little respect for aesthetics should be allowed to drive.
Tenet 9: Rachel wants to purchase new car stereos-turtle, turtle-so that she can listen to "zach and cody's" new cd, entitled: "Bootylicious White Twins".
Tenet 10: Zach and Cody should not be allowed to drive, thus, Rachel Wagner should never be allowed to drive.
IF AGREED, SIGN BELOW:
Jeffrey Robert Wagner
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