Put the Brawn back into Brawny Paper Towels-Give The Brawny Man his Mustache Back!

Hi! Kristina here...the author and illustrator for the upcoming children's book Max and the Magnificent Mustache. I am petitioning to put the brawn back into Brawny Paper Towels by giving the Brawny Man back his Mustache. You see being brawny is more than just muscles and strength, brawn is about masculinity, and what could be more masculine than some facial hair!

However in 2003 Brawny gave Brawny Man a makeover which included new clothes and a freshly shorn face, not to mention they took away his peavey. That's right the wooden lever/peavey, a hook like tool used to roll logs into position, he's a lumberjack for crying out loud, not Michael Myers!

I have often wondered what makes Brawny different than other paper towel products?

If you ask Brawny Paper Towels what their ingredients are for making their product so absorbent, they wont tell; in fact they say it's a secret, hmmm- go with me on this... Scientific research, commissioned by the Guinness Brewing Company, found that the average mustachioed Guinness drinker traps a pint and a half of beer in their mustache every year; this got me to thinking-- If a mustache can absorb that much liquid and Brawny Towels prove to be the most absorbent, than it has to be "Mustache Power" that makes Brawny Towels stronger than any other paper towel product!

Unfortunately, since they made the Brawny Man shave his iconic mustache, I feel like he has been well, overshadowed by some pretty stiff competition out there. So, I think the Brawny Man needs our help, that is what this petition is all about, sign my petition and lets PUT THE BRAWN BACK INTO BRAWNY - GIVE THE BRAWNY MAN BACK HIS MUSTACHE!!!


Hi Max here! I am an 8 year old boy obsessed with mustaches. One day I mysteriously grow a mustache; but when my cute curly tufts grow out of control things get pretty hairy!




  • Frank Rodriguez If it's Not broken.... Don't fix It, This is just WRONG !!!!

  • Anonymous its brawny man, not girly man

  • Anonymous No moustache, no party.

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Recent signatures

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    Codi M

    1 month ago Comments: Without facial hair how can one distinguish a manly man from the common flannel wearing frat boy?
  • username

    Brad Bergaus, United States

    11 months ago Comments: -
  • username

    Chris Ucis, United States

    11 months ago Comments: The world needs mustaches.
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