Given Allen's recent decision to become a metro-sexual, resulting in a horrific hot oil accident. Those in their right minds have decided that if he is to continue with his fetish of beard grooming he needs to go big or shave it off. In the spirit of his forefathers it has been decided that for the public good, to amuse us all and in the name of Democracy Allen needs to braid his beard like a fierce Scot should. Painting himself blue is optional but if we reach all 1000 signatures he should also have to put tiny pink bows on the ends of his beard braids and provide photographic evidence via social media. Please sign this petition for the children and for the small brown birds that need a place to nest...ideally in Allen's braided and be-bowed beard.

Occupy Allen's beard!!!! Workers of the world unite!!!

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