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END GENDER APARTHEID
Women are being asked to pay for a service that is by far inferior to that received by men and yet are being charged the same amount. At the same time, OUT men also set up female profiles to help break down the divide and will be making themselves known in due course. I am one of them.
Women are now part of the site. I believe that the mixed part of the site has promoted a better understanding between lesbians and gay men. Many meaningful and important friendships have developed as a result of our ability to communicate across the genders. I believe that women have made a positive contribution to the site: They have spent money here, organised events and tried to foster a positive atmosphere.
They have also tried to make a go of it on the women's side. But it has proved impossible to make much headway. Some of the women have been here since the site first opened to women and have tried to strengthen it in different ways. None of which were successful.
I have sympathy for the concept of gender-only space and the reasons for it. However, I feel that a site where the future is being discussed, special offers are being made, advice on technical and other matters offered and, where women are often the subject of debate, should be open to everyone regardless of gender.
There is a debate to be had about whether some threads about, for example, sex, should remain open to only one gender. I don't subscribe to that view but consider that to be a different issue to the one I am raising.
I also believe that it is naïve to think that what we write on a public website is only open to one gender. This has never been the case for OUT because, at the very least, women have been employed by OUT. And it certainly isn't the case for women as the site is owned and managed by a man. I feel there has already been positive benefits to having a mixed site and that this could be strengthened further.
Simply because they are women they do not have access to:
* OUT cards
* Some mixed OUT events
* The profiles of other people who are going to the same (mixed) event if they do not know about the integration button
* Polls
* 9/10ths of the members
* The majority of men are not integrated (by either choice or ignorance, different debate) so there are less available threads
Although more women are signing up, typically, there are around 15 women online at any one time - not enough to sustain long-term interest. For most integrated women, having the mixed area has been the reason why they have stayed with the site. However, they are frustrated by the limitations imposed.
Additionally, neither gender can:
* View which of the other gender is online
* See who from the other gender has visited their profile
* Read threads on the segregated sides (even though they may be directly pertinent to them)
I think strongly held views about pro-men-only space are few and far between. Unintegrated men have been found either on the site or at events who did not know how to integrate. I think this adds to the general injustice of our position and, indeed, throws the whole system into a state of confusion and inconsistency.
What I want:
I want:
* To know timescales of when promised changes will be implemented
* Until then, a reduction in the licence fees for women so that they are comparable to the services received and the amount of people they can interact with.
* Integration as the default option
Finally, I would like to urge men who are either undecided about whether or not to integrate or don't fully understand what integration will mean for you then read more via quickfind:131918. I promise your experience of OUT will not diminish in any way (as quickfind:131918 demonstrates). Your participation, however, means that women's experience is very enhanced and you benefit from a more diverse and inclusive community.
Quckfind:99 to integrate.
Please don't see integration as a case of crossing The Rubicon but more of an augmentation to your current OUT experience.
I hope I have explained our frustrations clearly enough for you to feel able to support me and other women and men in asking for continual changes to OUT so that everyone gets the best from the site. |
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www.outeveryone.com - OUT everyone has NOT been created to usurp OUT but has been created to enhance the site. Militancy on the site may not work but where there is a clear feeling that things aren't working out well then we are here to help give people a voice. |
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