We, the undersigned, are petitioning the United States government to recognize, as a National holiday, SuperBowl Sunday. We believe this is in the interests of most citizens and certainly their employers. With fans of the game consuming extreme amounts of delicious snacks and alcohol, there is no chance these people are productive on the Monday immediately following the game.
It is our wish that this day be recognized and granted as an official holiday, much in the same way that we celebrate President's Day, Arbor Day and Groundhog Day. Superbowl Sunday kicks way more ass than all 3 of those put together.