We, the undersingned, are sick of being burnt by hot cheese while trying to eat pizza and being knocked about in the East Stand.
We, the undersigned, wish for a bigger selection at the snack van.
We, the undersigned, do not understand why mediocre, substandard stadia like Rugby Park and Tannadice have items such as the ones we are requesting, and we don't.
We, the undersigned, are asking for the great Scottish delicacy, the famous snack, the quick and easy pie which is unlikely to give you food poisoning unlike its steaky cousin....
We, the undersigned, wish for macaroni pies.
Some of us are vegetarians. Some not. But all of us want a bigger selection than meat or pizza. It is incredibly difficult to eat a hot slice of pizza after half-time when the game's getting started again..it tends to result in a nasty case of "cheese-chin", a bright red burnt strip of skin going right down the middle of the chin, when you've taken a bite and all the topping has come off in a oner and smacked you in the face. The task is made more difficult by the volume of people coming back to their seats, and generally knocking you around.
So! Now, eventually, the East Stand fans are heard. Give us macaroni pies please. If anything, even if you don't care about our tastes and welfares and needs and wants and unrewarded loyalties and the like, even if you don't see why you should pander to a group of fans who choose to stand in the coldest, most crowded, wettest, noisiest and most boisterous stand possible, those who are there rain and shine, snow and hail, winter, summer, autumn and spring...
It'll shut us up at least.
Hear us. Please. Bring us the pies, and we shall be content.
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