The Petition
Jeshua ben Joseph, more commonly known by his Anglicized name "Jesus" and his title "Christ" established a major religion on earth almost 2000 years ago and, within three years, left the earth and his work to be picked up by others.
We, the undersigned, demand that the petitionee return to the Earth from Heaven forthwith and resume his control of the religious organization he found, which has splintered into many pieces.
Note that his last appearance was in a low quality, highly marginalized area under control of a foreign power. We request that his new appearance be in a more suitable location. We suggest Branson, Missouri, which already has many appropriate accommodations.