Sign Petition

Keep Paris in Jail Forever!

25 Signatures Goal: 100

For the cultural \"crimes\" of... (1) Promoting the unfettered, flagrant, capricious, and wasteful consumption of pointless crap; (2) Corrupting and propagandizing countless youths with the asinine, unimaginative, stupid, and exasperating shibboleth, \"That\'s hot\"; (3) Being so vain, narcissistic and irrationally nonsensical as to publicly argue that she ought to be pardoned for her criminal violations (and unrivaled stupidity) because she, in her own empty lot of a mind, \"provides beauty and excitement to our otherwise mundane lives\"; (4) Being so foolishly and categorically unacquainted with the living example of \"irony\" that she provides (cf. Complaint no. 3). (5) Disproportionately, enthusiastically, and perseverantly contributing to the thorough annihilation of youths\' (as well as many adults\') positive orientation to constructive social values (e.g., hard work, modesty, humility, charity, respectfulness, frugality, concern for the environment, etc.); (6) Initiating, vis-a-vis Complaints 1-5, an epidemical era of \"destructive idolatry\" that represents a clear, present, and direct threat to the integrity and continuation of a meaningful, productive, authentic, ethical, respectable, edifying, and fulfilling cultural form; ...I, the signer of this petition, hereby call for Paris Whitney Hilton to be remanded to the custody of the Los Angeles County Jail until such time as she proves capable of providing at least some, small useful function in society. May she otherwise be imprisoned indefinitely.

Sponsor

http://www.myspace.com/jwc1926

Links

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/jailparis

Comment

21

Signatures

  • 8 years ago
    Gary United Kingdom
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Sara B United Kingdom
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Vanessa M V United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    michael United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Matt Salomon United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Jennifer Grant United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Allen Bell United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    tommy Ireland
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Michael United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Claudine Rummer United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    jennifer obrzut United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Abby United States
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Jemma Patten New Zealand
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    Ryan Maheu Canada
    8 years ago
  • 8 years ago
    keith olson United States
    8 years ago
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