To the Honourable Membership of HROP, The Petition of the Undersigned shows: That cellular phone generated workplace noise pollution in the office has become untenable due to a solitary cellular phone belonging to a certain person, D.B. The undersigned believe that D.B.'s extraordinary ring tone volume level combined with the obnoxious ring tone itself is damaging to workplace morale and productivity. The Petitioners ask and request that the cellular phone belonging to D.B. be prevented from emitting unhealthy noise pollution. This may be acheived by altering its settings, immersion in water, gravitational or percussion modification techniques, or by ensconcing the phone permanently in soundproof materials.