The Association of Obtrusive Family Members (A.O.F.M.) is petitioning the head of a certain household, on behalf of disenfranchised, under represented, minority status individuals who may be facing age discrimination in their efforts to exercise their privilege to obtain mans best friend. Leading research has indicated that children who grow up in homes without dogs are lacking much more than chewed shoes, bodily injury and property damage...they are lacking a cherished childhood right of passage. The American Psychological Association, citing the DMS IV, says "Such children often grow to become adults who chew their own shoes or other objects, as a result of the cessation of mental development as the age of canine desire." The AOMF, has many regional chapters. It just so happens that the chapter in Tennessee has reported the availability of a brilliant....er, dog who will meet and exceed all the criteria, particularly the chewing part. As the AOMF has stated before, we so no reason why the request of the concerned parties should not be granted immediately.....The dog is already in a box, en route, C.O.D.