WHEREAS, the National Aviary has acquired a new baby sloth, and

WHEREAS, the sloth appears to be cute and cuddly, and

WHEREAS, any laws preventing one so inclined from petting this sloth constitute cruel and unusual punishment,

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED THAT ALL LAWS PREVENTING THE AFORE-DESCRIBED SLOTH PETTING BE IMMEDIATELY STRICKEN FROM ALL ORDINANCES, CODES AND LAWS AT ALL LEVELS OF GOVERNMENT, LOCAL AND MUNICIPAL, STATE AND FEDERAL, INCLUDING ANY EXECUTIVE ORDERS, INTERNATIONAL LAWS, TREATIES OR AGREEMENTS, CONTRACTS AGREED UPON BY PRIVATE INDIVIDUALS, PARTNERSHIPS, CORPORATIONS, BOTH PRIVATELY HELD AND OWNED BY SHAREHOLDERS, THROUGHOUT PERPETUITY.