There\'s a guy, I mean chap, who goes by the name of Fred, who lives in a little corner of Pennsylvania. Fred is just about the dictionary definition of awesome; I mean smashing, except for one thing; he won\'t visit Britain. He believes there\'s nothing for him here.
He is, of course, wrong. We\'re not \"Great\" Britain for nothing.
We, the below, beseech the aforementioned gentleman to set foot in our great nation. Fred, we ask you not to shed all that makes you American. We ask you not to uncloak yourself of the values of freedom for the weak, the sick, the hungry; for we share and support these with passion and verve. We see your values and we raise you class, sophistication, impeccable vowels, misty moors, endless skies, Georgian architecture, university towns, church spires, city skylines, penny farthings, folklore and myth, cutting-edge debate, country pubs and unrivalled experiences.
Fred, we ask you to bestow yourself upon us, to allow us to let you see for yourself our rich cultural heritage, fascinating people and dynamic politics. We wish to learn from you as you will learn from us. Our country will broaden your horizon in ways you never dreamed possible; and by surrendering to Great Britain you will be following in the footsteps of some of the worlds greatest thinkers, artists, philosophers and politicians.
My name is Catherine. I shall forever roam the streets blowing up cars unless I successfully secure a Fred visit.
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