Fire Michael Gettlin Since we have no coffee

Michael Gettlin has yet to fix our coffee machine upstairs. The lack of a morning Cup of Joe is causing undue stress on the millions of people who rely on this coffee machine for that morning boost. The lack of a coffee machine threatens to cause negative productivity ratings both for individuals and for the unit as a whole. Currently we are forced to use the coffee machine downstairs. This threatens the fragile alliance with SJS, as we encroach repeatedly in the neutral zone to use the other coffee machine and are confused by where they keep their Splenda and coffee stirs. The impacts of this situation, already disastrous, will only get worse. We need change. Change we can believe in. And not more of the same promises from Michael Gettlin that the coffee machine will be fixed soon.

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