Keep E Off His Meds
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This is a formal petition to keep Elias Hernandez III (hereby known simply as "E") off his medication for Attention Deficit Disorder. Although some lead you to believe that E is in dire need of medication to correct a chemical imbalance within his mind, body and soul, E is a much better person when his body is clear of any man-made pharmaceuticals. E is a much happier and carefree individual when off his meds e.g. He likes to roller skate throughout the newsroom singing show tunes. E says the most mind-blowing things when off his meds e.g. "He looks like he farts Coronas and Whataburger." So please, help me to keep E off his meds forever. Thank You.
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