The purpose of this petition is to gather support for the creation of a national holiday to celebrate the birth of rock legend Dean Ween. All shall kneel before the altar and worship the mighty Boognish on this fine day. All will be encouraged to support the cause by donning a brown article of clothing on this day (shit stained undies do not count). Much as in the tradition of Martin Luther King Day and Presidents Day, this holiday will be observed on the same day of the week each year. However, it will be celebrated on a Friday rather than a Monday, in order to accomodate that certain sector of the public who prefers their bender weekends to start early as opposed to wrapping up late. Festivities to be held in honor of Dean include the practicing of anal sex, the ingestion of hard drugs, and the blaring of Ween music all day and all of the night. Older participants, or those with health problems, are encouraged to partake in vaginal sex, the usage of prescription drugs, and the blaring of Ween music all day and all of the night. In the continued spirit of giving, which this great country was founded upon, this day will not merely be about simple pleasures of the flesh. All will be encouraged to give back to the community in some shape or form. We hereby advocate Dean Ween Day to also be \"Adopt a Wookie Day\", by which Ween loving fans across the nation will be able to support that \"niche\" fanbase that sells bunk drugs in the lot and breathes vital energy into the scene. Such acts of random kindness would include dropping a busload of custies off in front of a wookie\'s RV, or the giving away of mass quantities of heady tasting dog biscuits. We encourage all to sign this petition and make this country a better place. Think about it this way - even if you do not support Ween, or know of their music, couldn\'t you use another day off work
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karla, United States5 years ago State: Minnesota
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