We, the sleep-deprived citizens of the United States (except Arizona and Hawaii) demand the U.S. government compensate us for the lost hour each Spring. If, in its wisdom, the government finds it necessary to take away an hour in the Spring, then hold onto it for several months, we should be paid interest for our time. We, the undersigned, demand the government repay the lost hour in the fall with not only the purloined hour, but an additional 20 minutes as compensation for our mental distress and the physical toll sleep deprivation entails. We understand that adding 20 minutes to the year will entail some challenges, but isn't that what makes America great? We further propose that immediate regulations for timekeeping devices be implemented to account for the bonus 20 minutes, and suggest that the anomalies be ironed out by eliminating those silly Leap Years. The government pays back its creditors with generous interest. We believe it should offer its tax-paying citizens the same benefit.