All members of Congress
We the undersigned people of the United States of America bring forth this petition for members of the United States Congress to initiate legislation which will require all officers of BP p.l.c. (AKA British Petroleum) to donate all body hair for the purpose of making oil-absorbing booms to be used in the clean-up effort in the Gulf of Mexico of the Deepwater Horizon semi-submersible oil-drilling rig. Said hair is to include all facial and body hair including but not limited to eyebrows and cranial hair. Said hair is to be collected and donated to Matter of Trust, Inc., located at 99 St. Germain Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94114 USA, for the purpose of producing Oil Spill Booms.