As one Benjamin Bronk has gone above and beyond in expressing and demonstrating his total and complete love for one Elisa Jordana by acting like a absolute douche in front of the New York Press, the United States, and the World; be it resolved that we the people believe Ms. Jordana should engage in, at a minimum, manual manipulation of Mr. Bronk's genitalia until such time as he achieves release. While this may not lead to a successful long-lasting relationship, we the undersigned believe Mr. Bronk has earned such release.