I have made the suggestion that Milamber be allowed to pull our baby up the aisle during the ceremony in his/her pram but this has been utterly shot down by my fiancee. Even talk of putting a bow tie and possibly a top hat on Milamber has been met with disdain.

I'm hoping to attract enough signatures to change Jen's mind about this and allow it to happen. She needs the full weight of public opinion to metaphorically slap her in the tits and show her the error of her ways.

Denying Milamber this vital role is effectively denying happiness to all mankind.

Thank you.

Dean Alexander Pascoe.