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It has come to my attention that there are some sick puppies in this world (http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/PH21781/) who would like for Paris Hilton to evade her 45-day jail term for driving under the influence.

THESE PEOPLE ARE SICK AND WRONG.

This petition is my humble attempt to keep the wonky-eyed bint safely locked up for her full prison sentence.

My reasons for her sticking in the slammer are thus:

1) She obviously can't drive. If she could she wouldn't have got caught in the first place.

2) She could have killed someone.

3) Did I mention her wonky eye?

4) If she was a young ethnic minority in LA her sentence would have been a lot more severe.

5) She's a bit too orange and botoxed for my liking. If she's banged away for 45 days we get to see what she REALLY looks like.

Okay that's all.

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I am a disgruntled self-rightous individual who is sick of divvies clotting up the gossip columns of my papers and space on my TV.

 

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