Appoint country music icon Frank Ortega as the paid spokesperson for DQ's new bacon burger...

Mr. Ortega dedicates perhaps* 38% of his life to the promotion of bacon. He also has an established fanbase that will come to your establishment, order a bacon burger and pose with a cardboard cutout of Mr. Ortega so that he may post their resulting photographs upon his Facebook wall with a hysterical commentary about bacon. Mr. Ortega will contracually agree to include a Dairy Queen reference in each caption for an additional, mutually agreed upon, fee.

*All approximations of Mr. Ortega's time dedicared to bacon were completelyfabricated.


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    Dusty Brown, United States

    8 months ago Comments: I will go to thr grave bitter if you don't do this; Oreo Cheesecake Blizzards be damned!!!

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