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President Bush has recently endorsed the teaching of Intelligent Design in our nation's schools, on the grounds that "people ought to be exposed to different ideas".
We also believe that different ideas from the standard Evilutionist paradigm should be presented in the classroom, so that students can make up their own minds on this contraversial issue.
However, Bush does not go far enough. There are additional theories, with as much scientific validity as Intelligent Design, that are woefully under-represented in our educational heirarchy. For instance, I also have an idea which opposes evolution. I believe that all mankind came to be as a result of the machinations of alien snake demons.
The alien snake demons, hoping to develop a slave race which will one day be cultivated for inexpensive labor, created mankind no more than twenty minutes ago. They programmed us with fake memories and history, and will return at an indeterminate point in the future to assign us roles in their secret interstellar labor camps.
Those of us who are in the greatest positions of Earthly power, such as President of the United States, will be given the honor of serving as royal consort to the snake demon chief. They will be forced to perform hourly fellatio on a monstrous humanoid serpent, with a scaly wang the size of my forearm, that ejaculates poison tar.
It too is a "different idea". In the interest of diversity of opinion, we the undersigned demand that Bush pay equal time to alternate theories, and endorse the teaching of this theory in public schools. |
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Potty Mouthed Citizens for Responsible Government |
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